The Golden Rule

once again excirpted response to an ommited letter *grins* this is starting to be a theme I'd say.

unadulterated (interesting choice of words right there by the way) human contact really IS love, or a face of it. Maybe I'm crazy, and I do say that it's got to include more than the purely physical variety for a lasting love to occur however isn't love really at least in some ways the desire to experience that unadulterated human contact (which we all desire somewhere) with someone specific weather for an instant an eternity or anything in between?

My "problem" if it is such is that I want to experience as much of life as possible and so even if it's an instance that's offered, if it's a TRUE instance I still want it. And people (on the whole) seem to think that means I devalue everything else. They ask me 'why would you ever chouse an instance over an eternity'. And I ask them 'why must there be a choosing at all?'.

Why are we so ready to be defined by our deprivation(s)? and if we are to be then why should we allow them to be one iota more then they absolutely will be anyway.

People want to give out and give in and they fundamentally resent me for doing anything else. I do what they won't dare to and thus it's cast as my fault that they're unhappy. Frankly if they were happy within themselves and assured in their choices how could any byproduct of my actions hurt them? It's not like I've killed someone. Not like I've set out with intent to do any harm to anybody. Anger is almost always spurred on by fear, and fear is fundamentally an emotional response to facing an unknown we don't feel prepared for. So seeing that why don't I just write off that from some people scorn is my lot because I am in many ways an unknown due to my brakes with common society.. well for the very same reasons that I have brakes with common society in the first place. Because I don't and won't settle. I'd rather die reaching for the stars then live staring at my toes. And yes I know that this sounds melodramatic and maybe even meglomanical but you know what? I've been told by several groups of people in my life that this is why they were upset with me. Now granted they didn't walk right up and say so, I had to confront them with it. But when you have a group of people who've gotten together basically to "put you in your place" and you tell them that they're only doing it because they're envious and they look ashamed and admit it. And this happens more than once with different groups of people some your peers others older than you. It provides a compelling reason to take a hunch into a viewpoint.

Why do people feel the urge to pressure me into making a choice? And not even explaining to me why a choice is a good one per say but pushing for me to make some choice, nearly any choice. The attitude is that any choice is better than "no choice". Where I'm sitting here feeling like there's no need. It's like if someone walked up to you and said "pick which pet dies" and then treated you like a psychopath for asking the obvious question "why should any have to die at all?".
Ok so I've gone from theorizing to ranting, but that question is so frustrating to me. More so because the few answers that I've gotten to it (and they are few and far between) were "because that's just the way things are" often in so many words. I didn't expect "because I told you so" for a reason as a child and I'm damn sure not going to start now. People say that when they have neither the time nor the inclination to try and really explain themselves and they believe you'd think them wrong if they just told you their conclusion. Which usually means they're wrong at least from your point of view i.e. current circumstances. Ergo when someone says that to me I have the knee jerk impulse to conclude that they're wrong. Which having seen children with their parents I know to be true about as often as it's not... so I've worked myself back round to being frustrated.

As to weather or not having some mix of sex and violence is weird or not I really don't think that it is. You're right that it totally must occur in a situation of clear communication and full trust. However it's not that uncommon and has a number of naturalistic roots for it. Also both sex and violence are ways to get to know someone on a very raw intimate level. And in that they share this element they can serve to enhance each others effects very much. Not always to positive effects sadly but as human history bears out, what we, humanity as a whole that is, can learn to use we will find some way to miss use.

I suppose that the "point" of all this, if indeed there could be said to be a single one, is best expressed through my own personal motto viewed in light of some very old wisdom repeated in many ways in many cultures throughout time... they are as follows

motto; Whatever works for ya
wisdom; do unto others as you would have them do unto you

you see the point? the wiccans put it pretty well too... 'an yee harm none, do what yee will'

as long as a I'm not seeking do to harm to anyone, nor through design or intent allowing my actions to create harm I'd just like to be left to my own devices to share with whom ever and how ever I/we see fit.

...which begs the question, is that really so much to ask?