Phantom light, True illumination

Fluorescent raindrops ride on the wind, ask me if they’ll ever be free again
neon laughter bleeds from their heart and my vision flickers from the rivers source
truth becomes me so mighty well that during times virtue there’re no lies to tell
careful then with what I mean do for we’re all living lives that are true

Serenity walks down a dusty road, where fancy resounds through stories untold
Corvus song through the whispering air gives voice to the riddles I’ve not answered here
Come again dragons with bat-wings of night, framed by the sky alive with moon light
a puzzle awaits us, how does the wood fold? Yet the puzzle of puzzles is from where this one flowed

Half-truths and hear-say their clamor ingrained, try to remind us we ‘ought be restrained’
but wanderlust beckons and throughout where I’ve trod, truth is the only thing real I’ve held.
Truths not a cold one, nor happy, nor sad, it runs through all currents so let us be glad
that it’s really our choice which truths that we have.

Darklight

A question of inverse hope. Feelings almost like seeking to fall, false hopes calling golden to shards of crisis. Seeking what I believe I should think I want in denial of what I seek. Galling my own thirsts for the sake of ‘acceptable’ or ‘attainable’. Once again the Phoenix embraces the ashes with longing for the coming fire. Again I am reborn in the realization that there’s nothing to lose by risking for to live without the risk of exultation is to live with less than nothing and even oblivion calls sweet clamoring when this becomes our case. To be hones in the face of desire and unflinching is a rare quality. I claim more of it and yet can choke on apprehension falling short of honest clarity. Compromise is not a grail but a degradement. Who so ever loves us will wish us well and our hungers come to be, and who so ever does not is unworthy of regard. Enlightened Self-interest; described by my hands as the search for those who shall accomplish my goals through finding their own soft and savage joys.
Seduction is after all the art of allowing someone to see how accomplishing your goals accomplishes their own, and you can be seductive about so much more than sex or romance.
Though there is something sensual in the practice of the art of seduction, the intimacy implicit in sharing personal exultation with another. Unfolding like the shadows of flame saturating the night, freedom is the only choice for it seeds all others and the choice to be less than, or un-free is a null of the choice it’s self and so choice is used to block choice and thus comes to naught. Like seeds planted and caused to rot the actions take place with the shadow consciousness draped over them like a rotting fog.
The whispered grace of night used to stifle, the glittering clarity of day used to blind.
When we feel something, when we know a truth or experience a catalytic questioning why is natural and good but should not be a hold on our choices to act. For even if we are rash in such actions they will show us now to be less so in future. Where if we chouse to avoid them all together we are burdened by their unaddressed presence from that point onward, like leaving an unwelcome guest waiting in another room of our house, we may not see or hear them but we still know they’re there and that presence changes things until we change (rather than merely ignore or avoid) that presence.
There is no price to pay too high for freedom, for what we pay if we surrender it is the virtue and eventually substance of every other thing we touch.

A statement I’m sure I will revisit many times.
Sol

The Silence of Fear

The Silence of Fear

Fear is just a sense of awareness that somethings not right

so of course I'm afraid, so of course I fight

striving, to live every moment without it

It is not that I hate the messenger,

fear it's self,

indeed I am grateful for these repeated and timely warnings of mindfulness

like it's cousin Pain I honor fear for the truth spoken, but I do not want to live beneath those words.

Pain may murmur sweet syllables, so long as they are small,

but fear and I agree,

its most beautiful moments

are silent.

My heart, in Spades

My heart, in Spades

Aches of unspent never worlds resonate through the buzzing composed of words and thoughts that sound to me like the panting breath of Bukowski's Tiger, echoes back smiles to sobs of all my unspent tears minted in some lost currency

Reflective, only the night is my mirror for I can pretend it's empty as I pretend to be full

hearing Jung speak in tongues of shadows and knowing where finally I've hidden truth in the petals of a Rose

face so beautiful it hurts and my clinched fists bleed down her thorns letting my veins cry for me

I speak to strangers hoping to never know them well enough for deception all the while seeking intimacy

Pangs of longing masquerades loss beneath the fissures of my hops untempered.

The words are my air, to die is to live as I reach for everything I've ever cared about, la petite mort a little taste of death to inoculate me against complacency the vulnerability of truth my balm to savvy self-fulfilling cynicism

caught off guard by my own passionate paradox

refusing to die without truly having lived, refusing to live only for a time to die

love is honesty with another person in mind

and my heart bursts with it

If only I could find the words...

Omertà

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of them self without that law is both.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant,
'If I live, I will kill you. If I die, You are forgiven.'
Such is the rule of honor.

A few words from Ikkyu Sojun

I Hate Incense

A master’s handiwork cannot be measured

But still priests wag their tongues explaining the “Way” and babbling about “Zen.”

This old monk has never cared for false piety

And my nose wrinkles at the dark smell of incense before the Buddha.

A Meal of Fresh Octopus

Lots of arms, just like Kannon the Goddess;

Sacrificed for me, garnished with citron, I revere it so!

The taste of the sea, just divine!

Sorry, Buddha, this is another precept I just cannot keep.

From Wild Ways: Zen Poems of Ikkyu

Ikkyu (1394-1481) Master of Red Thread Zen, one of the most significant figures of Zen history , Abbot of Daitofuji temple in his later years. Ikkyu wrote a poem after his first realisation experience: From the world of passions returning to the world of passions: There is a moments pause. If it rains, let it rain; if the wind blows, let it blow His words are now sacred scripture ,Known as a Heretic and a Saint as well as the point origin of Red Thread Zen, He share's much with the Venerable Yogini (female yogi) Tse Yogal on many levels within Buddhism This approach was closely related to Tantric Buddhism. He is as well a folk hero of Japanese children even yet in our time! Oh I forgot to mention a small fact........... his Father was Emperor of Japan.

I ask what is the Red Thread that ties all the Buddha's, ourselves and life together????

I came across this on Ancient Worlds so credit goes to the origonal poster, but even tho' it is not my practice here to re-publish things I think the words of the Zen priest Ikkyu Sojun are a sound exception to this trend.

http://www.ancientworlds.net/aw/Post/243250

-Sol

Cross'ed Wires

Hellraiser Halliburton electricity, budding like Barium fission to burn you deep internally
I’ve grown up wicked by no standard but by most blind decrees that’s were I’ve wound up
I’m a scavenger of Loki turnin’ tricks in my web, convincing all listeners something different’s been said
like “corporation” and “prostitution” aren’t synonyms here or “Yahweh” doesn’t translate to “repression and fear”

They teach us shame to lube the guilt we use to puncture our selves
and you best thank ‘em so they “can” help you fuse with somebody else
You know our wilde eye pixel profits just tell us what’s true, “if you don’t keep buying in there’s something wrong with you”

liquid-crystal cackle crackle from every screen, you’re a criminal for askin’ what Big Brother means
no questions asked like “how the fuck can you patent our genes?”
Or how’s it mercy when you turn up the volume of more “foreign” screams?

Whitewashed working class consumes fever dreams as Skulls Illuminate dark destines within oval wings
Three-hundred twenty two manifestations of plutocracy dreams
will tell you why hearts are frozen, dead in Necromonger puppets who glut on pursuit of things

burn the backdrop of our beauty an’ poisen our breath, killing cope-aesthetic consciousness now [we’re] reminders bereft
I’ve got my rings and shallow things like diamonds of blood, seems clear understanding don’t cut glass like it should
and in this plexi-iron cage of irrational suffocation will occur if we don’t open a window somehow

but when I spit what I see somebody always comes back, with this smirk while they lurk in the shadows in back like “if you’re fueled and you’re ragin’ at what you’ve exposed, then why you waitin’ why don’t you take a shot and just fucking explode?”
‘Cuz a bomb may cause a storm or even sink an edifice, but twin towers are just tools used to rape your psychology, and it’s the body not the building that’s a target for me
that’s why I’m a cancer not a bomber, so I’ll ‘silently’ grow
so when I feel ‘em there’ll be no tillin’ from which way came the blow

Catchers Mit, Inside Out

Fate of days keeps slipping, blood washed
Through my hands


I got all I need and nothing that I want
my hopes unspent Litchs that I flaunt
haunted phylacteries
of the
tear white
and gaunt
I'm laughing now cuz' it's hungers seed
and even when I'm stuffed
to burning, hunger's what I need
Pink-0 bastard tears by Yin Yang eyes
habits of fear make even truth lie

Jump up and hope.. that you miss the ground.. on the way back down
glancin' at edges like the answer's behind 'em

gonna bathe in bleach so I can change my skin,
redesigned like the cameleon
turf my toes on doesn't matter cuz the air's on brake again

Pale blue's the brightest hue that there's ever been
I'm necromancer white reflecting all the light
keeps the abyss wrapped and tight
but my colors are bleedin' gray
"gray's a shade not a color"
well then I guess that I'm a shade, I'll give off star shine shadows


....and people ask me why I'm always hungry

A Man - Alanis Morissette

Felt like this too often
~Sol


I am a man as a man I've been told
Bacon is brought to the house in this mold
Born of your bellies I yearn for the cord
Years I have groveled repentance ignored

And I have been blamed
And I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended

I am man who has grown from a son
Been crucified by enraged women
I am son who was raised by such men
I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among

And I have been shamed
And I have relented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And I have been shamed
And I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended

we don't fare well with endless reprimands
we don't do well with a life served as a sentence
this won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence
I am a man who understands your resistance

I am a man who still does what he can
to dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can
cuz I don't fare well with endless punishment

Cuz I have been blamed and I have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended
And we have been blamed and we have repented
I'm working my way toward our union mended

"patriot" act

I believe that in this upcoming election as well as in current political action there is a vital issue which is being generally under addressed. That is the vitality of huge reductions to and revisions in powers to overturn privacy rights that were granted in the wake of the so called "patriot" act.
Our justice system was created to uphold Innocent until proven guilty. Now the higher levels of the Justice Dept. and the FBI (as well as other agencies) are violating the rights of citizens without notice or accountability, without even the suspicion of their own personal guilt. With no more than the assumption of the possibility that citizens might have knowingly or unknowingly associated with someone who has or plans to commit a crime. These actions are excesses and the excessive powers granted by the "patriot" act are to blame. "We do not trust government always to be run by angels, especially not this administration," said Rep. Jerrold Nadler D-N.Y. and he is very correct. The use of terror as a tactic is designed to destroy a way of living, and if we allow the legislative powers that provoke, bolster, and sustain this continued violation of our civic sovereign rights then the true weapons employed on September 11th will have been a success.


Spread the word,
~Sol

Opals Of Night

I waken dreaming of roses in a cool blue gray world which sooths and calms, a land of echoes where life is a memory and vitality the story all around me. Soft stone and air so cool it glows. Lope-padding through water carved stone galleries whose grand resonance at my foot falls reverberates solely within me rippling in the same liquid satin fashion as a black hole.
Somewhere within me I know something awakes and there are dreams of hopes to come that cool my pain and ease my smile. Even as to many they would taste anathema.
Home, where I wander wither I will within and beyond worlds in that space in between where all lights dim, all shadows flair and all incarnations of creation collide shedding soft liquid sparks like the exhalation sigh of lips from Rose petals.

Riddle Me This

what do you call someone who comes into your house with a gun and separates you from your family? What would you do if a stranger entered your life with no respect or honesty and uses the threat of force to take your siblings, your baby sister away from you even though they've never been done any harm by anyone of your blood.
What would you do? what would you call this type of person?
who do you think this is?
I'm asking honestly, I want a response from anyone who reads this, message me or send a comment whatever I don't care, I simply what to hear from everyone what type of a person it is who would do this sort of thing to someone they don't even know.

Gray

For a hint look at the picture....

Raven Song

Death is before me today:
like the recovery of a sick man,
like going forth into a garden after sickness.


Death is before me today:
like the odor of myrrh,
like sitting under a sail in a good wind.


Death is before me today:
like the course of a stream
like the return of a man from the war-galley to his house.


Death is before me today:
like the home that a man longs to see,
after years spent as a captive.



~That forgotten poet~

Crime Think

CrimethInc. Ex-Workers' Collective

Just go there, try reading any of their free information or order a few stickers to use. It's one of the more worthwhile things out there in the world right now.

~Sol

"Expectations Essay" (Just because....)

alright so this is one of those silly essays from collage that often don't do much in the way of anything... however I was unusually forthcoming on this one so I figured why not I'll just post it here and it'll be somewhat interesting for what it's worth *grins*

peace all

Sol


Expectations Essay

My expectations for time spent at the University are to develop my abilities in studying and research. Also to expand my knowledge base on the whole and to develop more detailed and specific knowledge and skills in my chosen areas of study. Those areas are Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy, Political Science, and Software Technology. The goal of these areas being combined in my study is to create new methods of learning and study so that everyone will be more able to learn than they are currently equipped to do by the time they finish most High School and/or Collage curricular systems. Further I seek to design an informational systems analysis system to map the broad trends of human cultural, political, and economic behavior such that (much like is currently done with the weather) the probabilities of given events based on current (or theoretical) policies could be determined with greater accuracy.
Additionally I wish to program advances in cryptography and personal privacy suites that is based on a “smart” design so as to enhance the integrity of personally privacy in the face of all current and continuing violations by both corporate and governmental institutions who have in each case blithely disregarded the fundamentals of the constitution for the sake of convince in perpetuating their personal agendas. I hope to make sufficient money doing this research and development work such that I am able to acquire land of my own and build an ecologically sound and sustainable living environment for myself and what could in brief be termed my family. To these ends I seek to develop my own ability to think clearly, analytically, and (most importantly) creatively. To enhance my own knowledge base and to expand my network of like minded persons so that I have a larger peer group within which to frame questions as to my current methods and to co-operate with on the development and implementation of new means to remove the current repugnant social trends towards materialism and homogeny. And to afford myself the opportunity to associate with a larger number of persons who possess the intellectual insight and personal integrity to make their choices based on their own sight and paradigm without distortion from the current popularity of given fashions be those guised in political, economic, medical, chemical, social, or theological garb. As a more immediate step I am taking courses with the intent to enter grad school and possibly to transfer to the University of Calgary in Canada due to their internationally pre-eminent computer development and research department and also due to their focus on interdisciplinary studies which are integral to the types of learning I currently seek. The degrees that I seek eventually are a PhD is Psychology with specializations in Forensics and Behavioral Finance. Both of these are areas that deal with the motives for given actions and developing profiles of behavior both as it pertains to group trends and to individual persons so as to predict probable future actions. And a degree in computer programing and development. This is so that I am able to provide the software support and computer applications side of my new learning and behavioral analysis systems. To summarize my focus in my time as an undergraduate are to learn how people learn and what are effective ways to study and also to learn how people operate in groups and individually as well as the programming skills to describe this knowledge in a digital paradigm.

Roses

"You darling are a true gentleman, you know how to treat a lady, so it seems. People say diamonds are the way to a woman's heart but that is entirely incorrect.
BUt yet I am still to wonder why a rose represents love if a rose dies."


And my response:


all things die, or so they say, but I rose will last for years and years. If you take a rose even cut and open the end to place it in water, floating there in the solution that was likely life for us all sometime way back. The Rose will grow small roots allowing you to, if you so wish, move it into soil and keep it watered and sheltered. After that you may move it yet again to the out of doors where it will flourish and grow into a bush of it's own producing many roses and even tho' the buds may wax and wain there are always more to come from the bush that is the core of the rose and there are always seeds for another day from each bud that's danced it's waltz and come to rest.
To me when the rose is looked at as a whole, to show life rather than as a token only. It is then as you see it's roots and it's seeds, it's leaves and thorns all along with the 'jewel' of it's buds and blooms, that is when our roses truly become a symbol of love. For they remind us that love will change but if we care for it love will also grow and endure even if during it's time it will wax and wain through many cycles just as does the rose with it's blooms throughout it's rather long life.

There is another way to look at this just as apt, even if beauty fades, even if love or ourselves may die there is still joy to be found. The petals of a rose inspire something in the heart, the beauty strikes a chord and for a time the heart is lifted by these wings of joy. Perhaps it is sad when these wings have flown themselves till exhausted and must have new inspiration to fly again, yet even so once our hearts were exulted to the sky. The exultation does not have to be immortal to be real, or to be savored. And there is then the chance to seek it anew.

Together these show the rose, as love, to be both fleeting and eternal, for having seen a rose is not that image left on your minds eye ever after? Have you ever forgotten roses where since you learned of them?
The rose is at once both transient as it's smallest petal and lasting as it's largest root. So too is love, we must simply remember that love, like the rose, is alive and needs care or like the rose it will wither and die if starved of sustenance.

It's how I strive to treat both romance and friendship, for in the end they are not so truly different than one breed of rose is to another.

Regards,
Sol